Gardening Giggler Gifts

"I've found the lawnmower!"

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

The Busy Gardener

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'He never listened to his mother!'

'Where are you going?'

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.