Farm Giggler Gifts

Something happened to the cows...

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

'Where are you going?'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Your Country Needs MOO!

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'