Farm Giggler Gifts

Something happened to the cows...

The Busy Gardener

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Yard Sale

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Beginning Yarder.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Where are you going?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

Your Country Needs MOO!

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."