Green-side Giggler Gifts

Men working sign at golf hole

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Where are you going?'

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Balding gnomes

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."