Seasonal Giggler Gifts

"Are your trees fresh?"

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

"What are you in for?"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

Balding gnomes

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"The cookies are always stale."