Seasonal Giggler Gifts

"Are your trees fresh?"

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

Balding gnomes

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

2pm meet your Creator

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

I am one with stupid.

"The cookies are always stale."

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.