Seasonal Chuckler Gifts

'Hey buddy, what happened to your hair?'

'I say we rendition the snow to Guantanamo!'

"Little help?"

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Look at you, all gnarly and naked and gross!"

The Itchy Back

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

How to Tell Spring is Here.

'Okay, cough.'

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

'Someone call 9-1-1!!!'

Woodpecker sitting on snowmans nose

Gesundheit! - a christmas tree should be fresh.

Snowman: 'Maybe we should put down a towel first..?'

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"

"It's an amazing snowman darling. I see you've given him Mummys hat, Daddies gloves....and Grandpa's walking stick."

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

Snirtman

'Bless You!' (snowman kills another snowman with a 'dagger' carrot).

'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'