Christmas Chuckler Gifts

'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'

Santa delivering newspapers

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

Sadly, Sid would put too much faith in the immunity idol.

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'It's a good thing we've got a refrigerated truck!'

'Mum, I thought you said Santa was fat!'

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

Various Birds of Pray.

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

"The fact is Santa, if that's your real name. You were caught inside the house, with a sack full of valuables."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

No Yule Turn.

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'Hey buddy, what happened to your hair?'

'Bless you!'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."