Christmas Giggler Gifts

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

"The fact is Santa, if that's your real name. You were caught inside the house, with a sack full of valuables."

No Yule Turn.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Batman's Baby

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"The cookies are always stale."

I am one with stupid.

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"Nigel, I thought the idea of us honeymooning in Aspen was we were going to learn to ski together."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

'Lettuce pray!'

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

'Okay, cough.'

Comedy Vicar Competition

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

"Seems like around November a lot of relatives don't make it to these."