Thanksgiving Giggler Gifts

"Seems like around November a lot of relatives don't make it to these."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Clown God

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

The Main Types of Cheese

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Get on with it!

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Fancy a pint?

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"