Greenway Giggler Gifts

'Boy, they don't miss a thing, do they?'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Beginning Yarder.

"What are you in for?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'He never listened to his mother!'

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Where are you going?'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!