Graveyard Giggler Gifts

"I knew Yorick also. He gave me diarrhea."

"I'm not climbing down there to fetch your teeth. Serves you right for spitting."

'For the jillionth time, I have looked everywhere! That winning lottery ticket has got to be in his pants!'

Terrible career move: TOMBSTONE.

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

Palindrome grave

Burke and Hare and Hare

"It was three hours before we realised that he wasn't playing dead."

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

Vague Headstone

Grave with satellite dish.

"Worst case of hypochondria I've ever seen."

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

'He really wanted to be cremated. . .'

Master dog trainer.

'McNulty never subscribed to the theory that he couldn't take it with him.'

In the houseplant cemetery.

'He never listened to his mother!'

No-one had the heart to tell Lily it was just a mushroom.

'Well, not his very last words, just his last words on twitter.'

Punch in the churchyard

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

Brad Talbot - "Hey, I'm outta here."

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."