Country Giggles Gifts

They're short of staff!

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

Yoghurt man

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

A centi-stampede.

That's one harmonious butt hole!

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

A cow's bedside table.

'Serves me right for frowning.'

The Assistant

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

"I'm on the range, but I'm not home on the range."

'Well, Hawkins, I see you made it to work on time.'

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'

Something happened to the cows...

'Beware falling sheep'

'Pa will be right back. He's in the media room, downloading some more homespun wisdom.'

'Yes, I am looking for an experienced cattleman.'

'I guess you're what they call a snatch purser, huh, Doc?'

Hillbilly mall maps.

"I've taken up a new hobby, I'm into racing pigeons."