Country Jokester Gifts

"I'm on the range, but I'm not home on the range."

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I fart more than that!

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Must get a longer cable."

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

Clandestine cows.

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"My husband is fishing. . ."

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

A centi-stampede.

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

COWS: Spare cow

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

The wife made it. Why?

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'He's not here.He's out on a sting operation.'

A cow's bedside table.

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'