Rural Jokester Gifts

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

See, son? That's what happens when you don

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

Clandestine cows.

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

A Venus cow trap.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

COWS: Spare cow

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

Close, but no cigar!

Nice six-pack!

"I stink... therefore, I am."

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

Thanks for the tip. Come again!