Backyard Jokester Gifts

"Wow, you really get a lot of birds in your bird bath!"

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

I fart more than that!

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Must get a longer cable."

Police Cow!

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

Clandestine cows.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

"My husband is fishing. . ."

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

COWS: Spare cow

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

The wife made it. Why?

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Gardening for Beginners

No U Turn.

Devil watering tails.

"That was a stupid place to put the lawn mowings."

"I'm on the range, but I'm not home on the range."

Dave always likes to amuse himself by accusing the sausages of heresy before he throws them on the fire!

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

"And that's why I don't have a steaming pile of s**t in my back yard."