Farm Jokester Gifts

Turkey with an ax to grind.

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

Fan on Manure

COWS: Spare cow

"You're late again. I'll have to get another driver."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Oh Hi!'

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"I'm an enigma!"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Clandestine cows.

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'