Farmland Jokers Gifts

'Man, with that much bull at your disposal you should be running for congress!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Oh Hi!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

A sure sign of rain

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'