Farm Humorist Gifts

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'How goats see the world.'

Cows For Celebration

Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad - Three Legs OK: Bloomin Middle Ground Politics.

'Well, nobody's perfect.'

"That was definitely mine."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

Two cows are admiring a female cow that has an extra udder - 'Hey Colin... check out Barbara's awesome moob job!'

"So that's how they make smokey bacon."

'Well, no wonder we haven't been able to leave. Someone left this stupid think on!'

"I think I've just worked out the reason why we don't sit like this..!"

'You're a genius, Greg!'

Dairy Potter.

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Middle Management Training.

'Where's my glove?'

'Ah doctored it with sheep dip an' iodine an' turpentine...'

Wordilly Durdillies - A Douglas herd.

"We're a lot smarter than chickens, which is why free range pig farming isn't too popular."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"How goes the farm-raised salmon?"

'You have to admire Calhoun he never breaks asepsis."

Unfortunately what happens in the cow's digestional tract doesn't stay in the cow's digestional tract!

'We're up S**t Creek without a paddle! YAY!'

Best guess, nuclear war or the French football camp!

Grassy breath?

Pick your own organisms.

Center for anti-discrimination.

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Spidercow.

Meerkows.

'She says her stomachs ache.'

"Corned beef and cabbage"

Flies pulling cows tail like a christmas cracker.

'Think of it as a product recall'