Farm Humorist Gifts

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

Cows For Celebration

Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad - Three Legs OK: Bloomin Middle Ground Politics.

Two cows are admiring a female cow that has an extra udder - 'Hey Colin... check out Barbara's awesome moob job!'

'Well, nobody's perfect.'

"That was definitely mine."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

"So that's how they make smokey bacon."

'Well, no wonder we haven't been able to leave. Someone left this stupid think on!'

"How goes the farm-raised salmon?"

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Ah doctored it with sheep dip an' iodine an' turpentine...'

'Where's my glove?'

"I think I've just worked out the reason why we don't sit like this..!"

'You're a genius, Greg!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Wordilly Durdillies - A Douglas herd.

"We're a lot smarter than chickens, which is why free range pig farming isn't too popular."

Center for anti-discrimination.

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Pick your own organisms.

Spidercow.

Meerkows.

Grassy breath?

Unfortunately what happens in the cow's digestional tract doesn't stay in the cow's digestional tract!

'You have to admire Calhoun he never breaks asepsis."

'She says her stomachs ache.'

"Corned beef and cabbage"

Flies pulling cows tail like a christmas cracker.

'We're up S**t Creek without a paddle! YAY!'

'Think of it as a product recall'

By accident they washed me with a conditioner

Will work for grass

"She's had some work done."

"You thought who was extinct dear?"