Farm Comedian Gifts

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

Farm Humor.

A centi-stampede.

A Cowpat A cow patting another cow

'Sam, you either rebuild these gutters or you can get another veterinarian.'

Toilet ducks!

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'