Agricultural Comedian Gifts

"Geez. Dude, is that steel wool?"

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."