Agricultural Comedian Gifts

"Geez. Dude, is that steel wool?"

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'