Agro Humorist Gifts

"Farmers are always complaining about the amount of paperwork that Europe generates...but if you use your imagination then you can turn it to your advantage!"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

A Tongue Stud.

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

Grassy breath?

They're Brazillian!

'She says her stomachs ache.'

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Well, nobody's perfect.'

Middle Management Training.