Agriculture Humorist Gifts

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'

"Today's objective is the genetically modified corn in this quadrant!"

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

I see we've hit our 'default' setting!

'I think your stock are beginning to stray...'

They're Brazillian!

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'That's a definite 'no' to us being a zombie then?'

'Sorry - that's the only piece of equipment we don't stand behind.'

Mad Cow

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

A sure sign of rain

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

'The cow that jumped over the moon, was she on some kind of growth hormones?'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'