Agriculture Humorist Gifts

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'

"Today's objective is the genetically modified corn in this quadrant!"

"Oh lord, I think we're in a Japanese horror movie!"

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

I see we've hit our 'default' setting!

'I think your stock are beginning to stray...'

They're Brazillian!

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'That's a definite 'no' to us being a zombie then?'

'Sorry - that's the only piece of equipment we don't stand behind.'

Mad Cow

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

A sure sign of rain

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Static cling."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!