Modern Farming Humorist Gifts

'Will someone fetch me that new dairy maid?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

A Tongue Stud.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'