Modern Farming Humorist Gifts

'Will someone fetch me that new dairy maid?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

A Tongue Stud.

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'