Farming Satirist Gifts

Bar Code Harvester

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

A Tongue Stud.

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

They're Brazillian!

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

Grassy breath?

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.