Farm Satire Enthusiast Gifts

Organic cowpies!

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"Static cling."

"I'm an enigma!"

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

'Food fight!'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

"Start talking."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'