Farm Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Chicken: 'It's some sort of pecking order.'

"Sorry, I don't need you anymore to scare those crows. I just play the news."

The aging process can play some cruel jokes on your body!

'Miaow??'

An after-grazing mint.

'Why I do declare, Foghorn Leghorn was an acquaintance of my mother!'

See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

"And this is another reason why we don't order parts over the phone."

'What do you mean, 'Yes, it's pneumonia but mainly she's been poisoned'?'

Who's damn fool idea was it to buy a laminator?

A bipartisan committee.

It's not enough just to 'milk me'...what's my motivation? Do I want to be milked?

"You call it milking, I call it groping."

'I don't want to lose my place.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'How does it work? I don't know, I'm afraid to turn it on.'

Enough with the panic attack! I want them back, please!

Cows worshipping a toilet.

...on the plus side, it's great when it's raining.

'Cow Stabilizers'.

I think I'm gay!

Pork Sausage.

Cow Kong.

Lordy! I hate it when they stampede!

"I found a few shells with nothing in them."

"So, Dona Carmen...what's wrong with Rogelio?"

"What is that lovely fragrance you're wearing, Penelope?"

"It's kind of disturbing: the farmer seems to be obsessed by how big my thighs are..."

""Long time no see! Let's do slop sometime!"

Just as John had feared, Bossie had gone dry, very dry."

Wife to husband about pigs in kitchen: 'Sometimes I wish you weren't the county's champion hog caller.'

"At this point in my life I'm just happy being unprocessed meat."

"I'm full. And I'm tired of just standing around."

"Am I really that fat?"