Farm Life Comedian Gifts

'Right, I'm off for a swim!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...