Farm Life Humorists Gifts

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Milking the Cow.

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'