Farm Life Humorist Gifts

"Dear, I'd like you to meet the Holsteins."

Who does that Lady Baah-Baah think she is?

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

'So, that's why your relationship status us 'It's complicated'!'

You missed a bit!

Cow-sized Tissues.

At least he could say that he straightened the prongs of the fork today.

If the trailer is anything to go by, we are in for a treat!

'So I guess it's New Year!'

Erm...Those aren't novelty slippers are they?

Don't panic! We've walked into a 'mime field'!

'I never did a pregnancy exam on a ewe before.'

'BOTOX...QUICK!

'I do wonder why I didn't take the blooming blue pill!'

'We're waiting!'

The attack of the fifty foot chicken.

'An Outboard Cow'.

'Have you seen my curling irons?'

'I don't mind coming to work it's that long wait to go home that gets me.'

Battery Hens.

'So much for your 'Big Brother!''

"Yes, the glasses work well, but now that I can clearly see what we're fed, I've lost my appetite..."

"Oh you had to cross the cattle grid, didn't you?!"

No,no,no !...I said..No More Cow Bell !

"Same old thing; milking and grazing. How was your day, dear?"

They locked eyes. The tension between them – deliberate. All of which made the crows very uncomfortable.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

A bird leaves an egg spaceship.

Sheephunters

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"I'm thinking of getting my Nipple done next"

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

Oil of U-Lay