Farm Life Comedian Pillows

'Right, I'm off for a swim!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'