Rural Life Comedian Pillows

The Farmer, The Log And The Log's Attorney

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

A Venus cow trap.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early American Think tank

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

COWS: Spare cow

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Nice six-pack!

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'