Rural Living Humorist Pillows

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I fart more than that!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

A Venus cow trap.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

I've been doing sit-ups!

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

COWS: Spare cow

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

Close, but no cigar!

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Nice six-pack!