Rural Living Humorist Gifts

Dog Outhouse

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I fart more than that!

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

A Venus cow trap.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

COWS: Spare cow

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

Early American Think tank

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Close, but no cigar!