Quirky Rural Humorist Gifts

A suit of scarecrows

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

I fart more than that!

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Scarecrows guarding a field

A Venus cow trap.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"Static cling."

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Clandestine cows.

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.