Country Humorist Gifts

Someone's going to be disappointed!

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

I'm a Smart-Cow!

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

'I didn't think this is what they meant by a doctor shortage in the rural areas.'

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

"I've taken up a new hobby, I'm into racing pigeons."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Your mother's been on strike since we discovered her secret cache of designer shoes.'

This cannot be good!

'Ah-ha! I thought I could smell grass!'

A cow's bedside table.

'Beware falling sheep'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

Chick Cow Go (The Windy City)

"Here's where I'm planting on the bottom land."

'Doc, would it help if we smeared it all over with some of my Preparation-H?'

'I guess you're what they call a snatch purser, huh, Doc?'

Cowpies for Sale.

'Whose bright idea was it to put a kiosk in the hinterland?'

I think we can see what is 'trending' in this field!

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'Look at the slop he's feeding that poor dog.'

Anyone seen my braces?

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Serves me right for frowning.'

'It's something like bronc busting, only you're not up in the air as much.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

I fart more than that!