Country Life Humorists Gifts

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

I've been doing sit-ups!

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'Serves me right for frowning.'

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'So much for your 'Big Brother!''

'So I guess it's New Year!'

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'I never did a pregnancy exam on a ewe before.'

A cow's bedside table.

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

The Farmer, The Log And The Log's Attorney