Country Life Humorists Gifts

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

I've been doing sit-ups!

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'So much for your 'Big Brother!''

'Serves me right for frowning.'

A cow's bedside table.

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'So I guess it's New Year!'

'I never did a pregnancy exam on a ewe before.'

That's one harmonious butt hole!

"This is the life eh.?"