Country Living Humor Gifts

'They may well be chasing you, but there's not enough room for you to hide in here...!'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

I've been doing sit-ups!

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early American Think tank

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Nice six-pack!