Country Living Humor Gifts

'They may well be chasing you, but there's not enough room for you to hide in here...!'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early American Think tank

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Nice six-pack!

'So I guess it's New Year!'