Country Humor Lovers Gifts

Cow conkers

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early American Think tank

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Close, but no cigar!

Nice six-pack!

'Got any cud flavour?'

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

A cow's bedside table.

'Serves me right for frowning.'

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'It's got all the original features.'

I'm a Smart-Cow!

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

'Sure, the farmer always shouts or whistles at me, but deep down, he's a softy...'

"This looks like a job for Agman!"