Country Humor Connoisseur Gifts

Redneck "Still" Life...

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

Early American Think tank

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Nice six-pack!

A cow's bedside table.

That's one harmonious butt hole!

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

Musical Cows

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'Serves me right for frowning.'

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

'Got any cud flavour?'