Country Humor Lover Gifts

'I've been wallowing in mud my whole life and look at me.'

'Man, oh man! I shoulda brought my fishin' gear!'

'Those Texas Longhorns are sure good mothers, Doc.'

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

Jus' you remembers it's very important you leave a nice big hole in the back of yer wrapping!

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

I'm WAAAY beyond Kinder Surprise!

'Thanks girls: Boy it's cold today!'

Early American Think tank

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Close, but no cigar!

Nice six-pack!

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

'Serves me right for frowning.'

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

'Got any cud flavour?'