Countryside Humorist Gifts

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'You've played Pooh sticks right?'

Look lively ladies! We have 2 milk poachers at 3 o'clock!

Farmhouse wars

"He's been like this ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

I fart more than that!

"Static cling."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

A Venus cow trap.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'