Farm Life Humor Pillows

Blackmail is such an ugly word...Don't you agree?

'After dinner we went to his place. It was really nice. I was expecting a sty.'

"Early Sparings are all well and good, but I can't keep up this gambolling for much longer."

It still tastes a bit 'GRASSY'!

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"I'm an enigma!"

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'She says her stomachs ache.'