Farm Comedy Fan Gifts

When the Easter Bunny uses eggs from pasture raised chickens he puts them all around the yard, otherwise he clusters them together.

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Now don't tell me what I did wrong, let me guess.'

Mos Eisley Cowpat. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany. We must be cautious!

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

Milking the Cow.

Dedication to excellence....

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"I'm an enigma!"

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

'Thanks girls: Boy it's cold today!'

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

I'm WAAAY beyond Kinder Surprise!

A centi-stampede.

'I LOVE YOU GUYS!' 'She's been drinking again!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"It's the fabled Mongolian Herd!"

'Don't worry about retirement Irma: There's more to life than just laying eggs...'

'Culled?! That's a relief...I thought you said we were gonna be killed!'

Wordilly Durdillies - A cow putt

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'

Farm Humor.

It's not enough just to 'milk me'...what's my motivation? Do I want to be milked?

'Miaow??'

"You call it milking, I call it groping."

'It all sounds very nice...But I'm a bit busy. Have you tried the shepherds behind the hill?'

'Hey Phil...Thanks again for that little barnyard speech you gave last week about Farmer John's unimpeachable character and good intentions...'

Cow picks up chick instead of tennis ball.

'Hey Dad, we learned to speak French at school today, listen: Cocorico!'