Farm Humor Fans Gifts

COWS: Cow stablizers

I'm texting!

Cow and Bike Evolution

Christmas presents! Reindeer poo!

'I know what you were thinking!'

Think for yourselves! Shorn would finally die in a head-on collision with Charlie the Mohawk Cow.

"Frankly, I'm finding these motivational posters rather unnerving..."

"Notice? They're feeding us a lot better now that we may be used as a source for transplants."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Dedication to excellence....

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"I'm an enigma!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Gee, at these prices you'd think they would tie the feedbags on for you.'

'She says her stomachs ache.'