Farm Humor Gifts

Egg in Maternity Ward.

'Frank, you idiot. That's a bull you're trying to milk there.'

'Gee, at these prices you'd think they would tie the feedbags on for you.'

"Is the meal to Madam's satisfaction?"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"I'm an enigma!"

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Start talking."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

Grassy breath?

'I LOVE YOU GUYS!' 'She's been drinking again!'