Farm Humor Gifts

Egg in Maternity Ward.

'Frank, you idiot. That's a bull you're trying to milk there.'

'Gee, at these prices you'd think they would tie the feedbags on for you.'

"Is the meal to Madam's satisfaction?"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"I'm an enigma!"

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Farmyard Sinatra - "Start spreadin'...Manure

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Start talking."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'