Farm Stand Humorist Gifts

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

A sure sign of rain

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

A Tongue Stud.

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."