Farmhand Humorist Gifts

Talk about agricultural work.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Milking the Cow.

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."