Comedy Farmhand Gifts

Bloomin' ants!

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"They’re real."

Milking the Cow.

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.