Hollywood Farmhand Gifts

Botox!

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Scuba cow"

"They’re real."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Diner

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

Tom Hanks

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

'I didn't know you were a cook. I just heard Daddy say you'd make good sausages.'

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

A solar powered cow.

'It used to be a dairy farm, but now the milk produces therapeutic proteins, and the eggs contain antibiotics.'