Hollywood Farmhand Gifts

Botox!

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Scuba cow"

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"They’re real."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Diner

Tom Hanks

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'I didn't know you were a cook. I just heard Daddy say you'd make good sausages.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

Jennifer Aniston

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

A solar powered cow.

'It used to be a dairy farm, but now the milk produces therapeutic proteins, and the eggs contain antibiotics.'