Farmhand Foodie Gifts

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Is the MSG local?"

"They’re real."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

Roasted Peppers

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

'Fresh eggs!'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Olives

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

Surprised cook.

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

"We think it's terribly important that you meet the people responsible for the food you're eating tonight."

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

Farmer eating lunch on resting cow.

'Only the sauce was locally sourced.'