Farm-to-table Foodie Gifts

"Here's some baby spinach - from my soil to your plate."

The only thing growing in the US drought is the food prices.

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Suffering Succotash

'What? Never heard of free range rearing?'

Authentic Farm-2-Table Dining Experience

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

Roasted Peppers

'Fresh eggs!'

(Direct to the Consumer)

Essential work against Coronavirus

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

Olives

"Your chicken was free-range, organically raised, and named Denise."

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

Surprised cook.

We get so much produce from our farm share, I can't decide what to cook. Use everything! How about a stew with squash, peppers and corn in a zesty tomato base? Would your kids even put it on their plates? Of course! As long as it didn't touch the mac 'n' cheese.

"We think it's terribly important that you meet the people responsible for the food you're eating tonight."

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

Something Grown Something Shot.

'Only the sauce was locally sourced.'

'I'm sorry, but the free range chicken escaped.'